Hello! I'm a 30 years old woman that loves Final Fantasy, Xenogears, Parasite Eve, Xenosaga, Xenoblade Chronicles, NieR, Persona, Tales of Series, Valkyrie Profile, Code Vein, anime, animals and many other awesome things.
His figure unfazed by the fire as the whipping flames seem to go through him. Sephiroth’s very presence joined the suffocation of the inferno that smothered Cloud.
“ Hello! So, I took a year hiatus from writing fics (even though I only had 2, its pathetic lol). I got too in my head about the number of kudos I received and I became sad, to say the least. When I look at the low numbers, I used to see it as "something needs to change" and I would try to change my style of writing to gain more of an audience. That also made feel even worse that I stopped writing in general. So, how do I ignore the fact that I'm not a good writer and try and enjoy writing again? ”
Low kudos numbers don’t mean you’re a bad writer necessarily. It might just be that the tropes/plots you’re attracted to writing are less popular in the fandom. Or that the fandom is so large that no fic stays at the top of the tag long enough to get attention. Or that the members of your fandom are mostly new to AO3 and they haven’t noticed the kudos button yet or don’t know what it’s for.
Even if you are a bad writer, that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy it. I’m a horrible singer but you can’t stop me from singing. It makes me happy, so I do it all the time. But since I know I’m a bad singer, I tend not to do it in front of strangers. I get embarrassed and self-conscious and then it’s just no fun anymore.
One way to enjoy writing without thinking about the numbers is to write without posting it online. Lots of people have reams of stories that they never post publicly because they’re just for them (or to share with just a few friends). If public reaction is a demotivator for you, see what you think of writing without putting it up on AO3 or tumblr.
And of course, my favourite advice for enjoying writing is to write exactly the kind of thing you want to read. Be as self-indulgent as you want. All of the tropes you like. The ships you love. The redemption arc you wanted but never got for your fave. Kinky smut. The fluffiest fluff. Angst that makes you cry your eyes out. Whatever it is that you love, write that. Then put it away for a month or two so that you don’t have it memorized anymore and give it a read. It’ll put a smile on your face. 😊
What about the rest of you? Any advice for anon?
Kudos and comments are great for boosting your mood and giving you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, but they are not in any way an indication of whether or not you are a good writer. The lack of kudos isn’t an indication of your writing skills; most of the time it’s just a matter of if the fandom/ship/story premise is popular or not, and if you write for a small fandom or a rarepair whose ship is more like a pool noodle, you’re going to get less attention than if you were writing for a fandom that’s hugely popular with a mainstream ship as your primary pairing. In these cases, having a disproportionate number of hits versus kudos can indicate that the people who gave you kudos already keep coming back to reread your work, so clearly you did something right! And if you’re writing just to get that outside validation, that’s something to really think about.
On the other hand, most people don’t write for outside validation. (It’s nice, but it’s not why we pick up a pencil or pen or open a blank .doc file.) We have stories we want to tell, ideas and narratives we want to share, speculation to spin and see if we’re just spinning our wheels or if there are others out there following the same lines in canon to make a track. Don’t let yourself get pulled into the spiral of “if lots of people don’t like this, I must not be any good at it”. You have kudos, so someone out there definitely liked the story you told. Rediscover the joy of telling your stories, even if you’re telling them to five people and a sleepy cat.
you don’t get good at doing something by not doing it
you get good at doing something by doing it badly and learning how to do it better
You don’t learn from success, you learn from failure how to achieve success.
you see, the thing is, i hate failure.
in order to find success, you must first submit yourself to the mortifying ordeal of being kinda crap at something
everyone hates failure, but some people find it utterly intolerable
the key to that is usually to figure out what it is about failure that you find too intolerable to stomach, and try to deal with that aspect first
for instance is it being SEEN failing? okay, practice without an audience and try to do as much of your failing in private as you can
is it how the feeling of failure feeds into your sense some self-loathing? try therapy techniques for mitigating self-loathing in general first
do you hate the actual sight of your failed attempts? put them somewhere you don’t have to look at them
basically, find ways to make failing less awful by mitigating the impact of it on your happiness, even if those are things that some people will tell you shouldn’t matter. do what you gotta do to get stuff done
I love Xenoblade Chronicles 3. I have been itching to draw some fanart for this masterpiece of a game, it’s absolutely gorgeous, from it’s story, environment, the characters, everything.
Have been scrolling through your blog and it's 💞💞💞💞💞 I really needed a Code Vein imagines blog honestly. So, I was thinking...MC being Eva's sister, but MC doesn't remember her (????) I don't know how to even ask, I'm sorry
”
:
[Thanks sweetie 💜💜]
Eva
• She had been looking for you ever since she was a human. She didn’t get very far and she probably wouldn’t have if she had still been one
• She has Jack to thank for being able to see you again. If she hadn’t crossed paths with him then she would still be searching
• The bad news is that you don’t remember her. Honestly, that was always on her mind. She’d always tried not to get her hopes too high up (Jack would also remind her of that), but she would still wish and wish that you’d remember her like she remembers you and it would be an emotional reunion
• Eva was heartbroken for some time, and she knew it was fruitless to try and make you remember. She would choke up and had to excuse herself to the back room. All she had to go on were memories, no old photos or items. Just her words.
• She would keep to herself about you being her sibling. It would just cause the both of you trouble. Though Eva would still cling around you, always offering to partner up or hang with. Even if you didn’t have the same bone from before doesn’t mean the two of you can’t build something new.
• Eva is ecstatic to hear of Io’s powers and your ability. That means you still have a chance of regaining your memory. Every chance Eva got with you outside, she’d always remind you to keep any eye or ear out for any vestiages. Even she would be scanning the place back and forth.
• When you’re by yourself or doing something else, Eva is often watching you with a soft expression. She knows it’s rude to stare, but she can’t help but think of the fond memories she can recall. She still dotes on you, making it obvious that Eva is such a caring, loving sister.
• She still tries to hang with you. She does sometimes try to do the same things the two of you used to do before, like if there was a certain game you’d play she’d offer to play it anytime. If there was a type of food you liked she’d offer to make it. If there was a type of flower you adored she’d search high and low for some plant seeds just to grow them for you.
• You think Eva is just being overly kind, but she’s just coping with the fact that you don’t remember her yet.
